Author:James (Steve) Clay, MABC, LPC
In our last blog we were dealing with the issue of shame. We learned that as shame painfully exposes that something is badly wrong with me, my reaction is to hide. Adam and Eve were our progenitors in this malady of the soul. We all have shame, but there are many different ways in which we cope with it. All are some form of hiding. Escapisms, for example, are one form of dealing with the discomfort of shame. Excessive use of a substance that changes my mood and internal experience seems to help me feel more like I'd prefer. I'm running from the reality that makes me deal with my feelings of being broken and incapable. Denial is another way to hide. I try to convince myself that things are different than they really are by distorting the facts and reasoning with myself in a way that conforms to the reality I want but that is not true. Control is another way to hide. Those of us who struggle with anxiety know all too well the discomfort of impending or supposed danger, in which my resources, though all I really trust, are simply not enough. I hide in endless worry, seeking solutions to projected problems in field of view. Rather than face my greater problem of futile effort resulting from limited understanding and personal resources, I worry and fret. The result is wearying mental and physical activity that ends in depression and despair. In the end, all forms of dealing with the nagging feeling that something is badly wrong is a form of hiding from others and, ultimately and most importantly, God.
In this and the next blog I want to deal with the greatest news of all, that is, that we no longer have to hide. We are now privileged and encouraged to draw near. In fact, we are invited to a banquet with the King, the very one from whom we do most of our hiding. Because shame causes us to recoil from God's gaze, believing His glance is one of condemnation and scorn, our normal reaction is to seek cover. Shame betrays our inner awareness that we are unacceptable and worthy of rejection. People who see our frailty will hurt us (and oftentimes do). But we fear that God’s assessment can only be worse. So we hide from him by ignoring Him, pretending He doesn’t exist, or trying to please Him by our good conduct. All are forms of staying at a distance from the God we don’t trust has good intentions toward us. But we simply don’t know God. He certainly does see us, even when we are hiding. But He doesn't simply look the other way and pretend everything with us is ok. His gracious love addresses the problem that results in the very shame that causes us to hide.
So, how do we stop hiding from the God who has loved us with an everlasting love? First, we need to see that God’s and our own knowledge of the depth of our sinfulness is the way we begin to understand and address our feelings of shame. There really is something wrong with us. We are a sinful mess. Depravity affects everything about us. God made shame a part of our experience to indicate that not only is something wrong, but it is so wrong, that anything short of His intervention will not cure. Realizing this is the first move toward the God we avoid. Our sin uses shame to set us on a course to hide from God. But God uses the awareness of our shame to help us see His grace. We get what we don’t expect, when God’s grace opens our shame-filled eyes to see. Being overly concerned with my condition and hiding in response is part of our fallenness. In that condition we care more for our lack of loveliness than we do to for the beauty of God. Only when His glorious grace comes into view do we begin to stop shrinking in shame. This begins at conversion, when God opens our eyes to the glory of Christ (2 Corinthians 4:6). One indication of a redeemed heart is a movement away from shame and a subsequent infatuation with the beauty of Christ. Christ becomes our preoccupation. We begin to look at ourselves less and less. In other words, He becomes the main attraction, and we become a means of highlighting Him, rather than ourselves. Transformation happens when we behold Him, not ourselves (2 Corinthians 3:18). Beholding the beauty of Christ begins to loosen the grip of sin. Shame begins to lose its power when we see Christ is extravagantly and exceedingly excellent in every way.
What is the fruit of such transformation? Rather than running and hiding, we begin to draw near to the One in whose presence we once felt shame. We see Him differently, and He sees us differently. His love has provided in Christ a perfect atonement for the very sin that causes us to hide. We gain His righteousness (2 Corinthians 5:21). We become sons and daughters of the King (Romans 8:15-17). We gain an eternal inheritance that is protected by the power of God (1 Peter 1:4-5). We begin to see ourselves through the lens of what God has declared true about us. And on the basis of His removing from us everything that would cause us shame, namely sin. We begin to enjoy being near Him, not just because He loves us and has done so much for us, but because He is exceedingly and gloriously beautiful. This is what caused the Psalmist to write:
One thing have I asked of the LORD, that will I seek after: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to inquire in his temple. (Psalm 27:4)
In the next blog, I will continue the theme of drawing near to God, while coming out of hiding and shame. My prayer is that you will be encouraged to see Jesus as gloriously beautiful, infinitely holy, and worthy of your praise. Draw near to the One of such exceeding glory and love.