Author:James (Steve) Clay, MABC, LPC
Anger is something that we all struggle with—either with our own or with that of others. It is one of those emotions that cause people to feel very uncomfortable. It can evoke fear and/or anger when we are on the receiving end of someone else’s. Anger is so prevalent. It is seen universally in various forms. Anger is often soft-sold as frustration by those who want to minimize it. Sometimes it is undeniably the source torrential rage. In whatever way it is experienced, people who feel it internally can also feel alternately powerful and subsequently full of shame and regret. What is anger? Is it an emotion, an experience, or something more? What does the Bible say about anger? How does the Bible portray it? And what does it tell us we are to do about it?
The scriptures tell us, against much of what current psychological literature depicts about it, that anger is anything but neutral. Anger, like nothing else, reveals what one truly lives for, values, and treasures. We must always understand anger as moral, as always demonstrating an adherence to or rejection of God’s standards of the heart and conduct.
We must be careful in our understanding of anger to note that the Bible does not condemn anger per se, while it does have much to say about it. In fact, God is oftentimes depicted as angry and, even, wrathful. God’s wrath is His holy displeasure and reaction to sin. His holy anger, though similar to our own righteous anger, is His pure, undefiled reaction to any and all things that contradict or go against His glorious will. And though we do have the capacity for righteous anger, we must admit that more often our own anger resembles that of the evil one than that of God’s holy displeasure. God’s anger is always against sin and its destructive nature. His anger follows His holy character toward the elimination of whatever stands against His holy intention of glorifying His name and blessing His people.
Our anger, on the other hand, rather than being aroused by the sin, cruelty, or injustice of others, is more times resulting from how other people’s choices and behavior affects us. In our quest to get what we foolishly believe will best serve our lives, our anger is not far behind when someone or something gets in our way. Our anger is not so closely related to the fact that the behavior of others dishonors our Lord, but rather that those behaviors mess with our own mini-kingdom, where we sit firmly ensconced as mini-sovereigns, intent on having our will be done. Given our propensity to unrighteous anger, it is important understand the Bible’s perspective on anger and where our hearts go astray in moments of fully-felt justification for reactions to circumstances that rouse our own. This is what James has in mind when saying,
Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. (James 1:19-20)
Someone will say, “But doesn’t the Bible tell us that we should be angry, but just not sin in it.” Ephesians 4:26 does indeed seem to imply that anger is a neutral emotion that only goes sour when it gets expressed as sin. However, we must be careful to understand that anger is more than an emotion. Anger accompanies beliefs and desires. The presence of sin, injustice, cruelty, and such should arouse displeasure of strong proportions. But in order for anger to be righteous, it must find its proper place in regard to God’s glorious desires. Ephesians 4:26 has as its intention that our holy anger (if that is the case) be expressed in loving and holy ways. This text does not teach that all anger emotions are fine. We need to look to the context of the passage and other passages to learn that all anger is not the same.
The Bible is clear in its identification of the cause or motivation of ungodly anger. We need look no farther than Satan, the author of lies and murder (Rev. 12:12; John 8:44), to understand the core motivation for ungodly anger. His anger was rooted in pride (desire to be God and that things go his way). All ungodly anger follows the same course. It is felt and expressed as hostility toward that which stands in one’s way. Though the initiating and provoking circumstance may have been plausible and a legitimate reason for anger, the subsequent desires for the destruction rather than the redemption of the source of provocation goes ungodly very quickly. Grace, humility, submission, patience, gentleness (the fruit of the Spirit) are never in the picture when ungodly anger is being experienced or expressed.
A frequent theme of the book of Proverbs is anger. In fact, when addressing the issue of anger, the Proverbs seem to differentiate the wise and the fool by how they handle anger (for example, Proverbs 14:29). The fool is one who fails to consider the condition of his heart and consequently evaluates situations from a self-oriented point of view. It is no surprise that he is perpetually angry.
As said before, anger is the emotion following the experience or expectation of our not getting our way. We experience righteous anger when what God wants is of the utmost importance to us. When His will and ways are our focus, our anger will be bridled for His purposes—in timing, expression, and goal. And why is that? Because the value we have for God’s glory and our love for other people have become central themes in our lives. Therefore, our anger toward others’ sin results from our love for them and our hatred for the destructive sin they commit. Righteous anger, therefore, is never devoid of love and, in fact, emerges from it—both for God and others.
Ungodly anger results when we are disinterested in God’s glory and our focus is on ourselves. It is self-willed and stubborn, seeking to gain advantage for the sake of self. For example, if we crave peace and quiet after a day’s work, then we might snap and yell at our children when they quarrel and disturb our time of peace and rest. Now peace and rest are not bad things to desire, but our irritation at our children reveals a deeper craving stronger than our love for them. We want peace and quiet--now! And on our terms. This is the taking of a sovereign, self-serving position. Rather than love our children, discipling their hearts in the midst of their conflict, we become part of it. We react because we love something more than God and our children. We love ourselves and our way of getting what we think we need. We fail to trust God and love others. Another example might be if we crave the approval of others, believing that our standing with them is paramount to success in life, we might brood when we sense we have been shunned or criticized or passed over. Our brooding might turn into a deep bitterness that cuts people out of our lives. It is not interested in the welfare of others, but only in gaining approval for the sake of our own sense of self-value. Succintly said, anger is a great indicator of the greater affections of our hearts and the beliefs we have about what brings about ultimate fulfillment and joy.
The fruit of unrighteous anger is always punitive, divisive, and cruel. Oftentimes it is intended to control in order to get our way. It is self-centered, rooted in pride, and devoid of concern for others. Unrighteous anger, generated by spurious beliefs and disordered affections produces tragic results: embittered children, lost jobs, frightened employees, ruined friendships, health problems, broken relationships, as well as a host of other painful, destructive consequences. Furthermore, ungodly anger perpetuates itself. Giving way to it only reinforces the underlying beliefs and desires that fuel it.
Ungodly anger manifests itself in many unsuspected ways: blame shifting, brooding, carping criticism, pouting, sarcasm, judgmentalism, cutting words, cursing, grumbling, negativism, manipulation, whining, complaining, eye-rolling, silence, insincere compliments—all these are forms of expression of anger—all of which the Bible condemns.
With all this said, the Bible is clear that ungodly anger does not accomplish God’s righteous purposes (James 1:20), but instead is actually against them. Jesus equates anger in our hearts as murder, because its intention is the destruction of the person that stands in our way (Matthew 5:21, 22). We are warned to avoid the persons from whom we might be shaped by and learn such anger (Proverbs 22:24). Though it can be learned, ungodly anger arises out of our hearts already saturated in rebellion and self-seeking (Mark 7:20-23).
What should we do about our sinful propensity toward ungodly anger? James 4 gives us a few strong clues: first, you must recognize and admit that you are angry and that your anger is arising out of a pride that believes there are pleasures to be satisfied apart from God (v. 2, 6; cp. Psalm 16:11). Second, you must acknowledge that strong, worldly desires are at the root of your anger and that they are seen by God as adulterous toward Him (v. 4). You must see God’s great love that refuses to allow us to sit in this condition. You must see His discipline as arising from His jealous love for our hearts, intended to bring us to repentance (v. 5). Your prayers must be based in humility, which enable God’s grace, giving sight to your blind and prideful heart (v. 6). Then, submit your folly to the Lord’s wisdom, resist the devil’s enticing temptation to believe the natural affections of your heart, and then draw near to God for cleansing (vv. 7-8). This is not a “one and done” thing, for our hearts do not quickly change. You and I must come to the Lord daily, moment by moment, confessing the idolatry of our hearts, asking for the sufficient grace that He promises to those who humble themselves. The most humbling thing is to admit that you don’t have a clue, apart from divine help, about what is ultimately for your good. Confess and ask—and keep asking and confessing, for His glory. Ask that He would fill you with visions of living in freedom in Christ from the entanglements of sinful thinking and desiring (Hebrews 12:1-2). Then, go love someone. Love them well, and live for those desires that follow from loving God and His glory.
Lastly, notice the situations in which you tend to get angry. Call it what it is. If you are pouting, sarcastic, whining, or grumbling—do you see these as anger? What about your relationships with others? Interpersonal conflict exposes the presence of your unrighteous anger, as well as its fruits. James 4 is clear that repentance is the only solution to anger that erupts into quarrelsome debates. Do you see your anger as justifiable or sinful? How do you respond when traffic disagrees with your agenda? When someone refuses to give you their attention or your fair share of the credit? How do you respond when things are difficult? When you are hungry? Ask yourself hard questions. Answer honestly. Ask others to tell you what they see. Listen well and take heed. Don’t be defensive; don’t justify yourself or give explanations. Then go to God with it. Ask Him to expose, remove, forgive, restore, and free you from those shackles to other gods that cause your anger. Rejoice in faith that He hears and will respond. He promises to give grace—to the humble.
For further study, prayerfully consider the following passages: Genesis 4:1-11; 39:1-20; Number 11:1-23; 12:1-15; Psalm 37:7-11; Ecclesiastes 7:8; Isaiah 9:12, 17, 21; 10:24-25; 13:3; Ezekiel 38:18-19; Matthew 5:21-22; Romans 12:17-19; Ephesians 4:26; James 1:19-20.