Author:James (Steve) Clay, MABC, LPC
Why do people seek counseling? When and why is help sought? When is it actually needed?
People seek help from counseling when they desire change in some area of their lives, or if there is some level of discomfort prompting action in the form of outside help from a counselor. Though counseling is sought by some for desired growth, more often is the case that some form of suffering has motivated a sense of urgency that is deemed as needful of outside assistance. But what is it that needs to be addressed that would make biblical counseling biblical? Or said another way, what is the aim of counseling that makes it biblical? I want to suggest that people who seek counseling that is biblical learn the reasons for which biblical counseling should exist, in order that they enter counseling relationships with those intentions in mind.
Before we address these questions, it is important to understand a bit more about the inner workings of people and what has gone wrong in a more general sense.
The purpose for which God created us and how it all went wrong must be understood in order to know the purposes for which hurting people seek counsel. God created man in His image in order that He would be seen by him as glorious. The fall of man into sin turned the eye of man away from God and toward self—and toward the rest of creation—as desirable and worthy of his highest affections. Upon himself and creation he has now set his course to find joy, security, happiness, meaning and purpose. Sin has marred the image of God in man. Man, in his sin, no longer looks to God, savoring His beauty and excellence (Romans 1:18ff). His eyes are now incurably (apart from grace) blinded from the Most Desirable of All—God Himself (2 Corinthians 4:4). The woes and sufferings of man are upon him bringing untold suffering. Let’s look at the fall of man a bit closer.
Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made. He said to the woman, "Did God actually say, 'You shall not eat of any tree in the garden'?"And the woman said to the serpent, "We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, 'You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die.'" But the serpent said to the woman, "You will not surely die. For God knows that when you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. Genesis 3:1-7
Take careful note of what happens in the temptation of Eve:
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- “Your eyes will be opened” – this is a partial truth; their eyes were already open to the glory of God and not open to things that God did not intend for them to see
- “you will be like God” – they were already like God, in the ways God had intended; this is an appeal to be like him in ways that God never intended—independent, autonomous, and seeking ultimate joy in self
- “knowing good and evil” – they already knew good and evil, just not in the way Satan meant. They knew the trees that were good for food and the one that wasn’t.
Note that the post-sin experience was devastating:
- They know saw themselves and everything else differently than God intended. Shame resulted when seeing themselves as evil
- They now view God not as glorious, but one from whom to hide. They began to look to one another and self with an accompanying sense of shame. Pride has set in.
- Fear now dominated them. Fear of man, hiding, shame, myopic focus on self and difficulty seeing God as He is. Depravity has now come upon the world.
The result of sin is that suffering enters paradise and affects death in unimaginable ways. Nothing is as designed. Nothing works like it is supposed to. All is broken, corrupt, and painful. Sin has contaminated all that is beautiful and good, leaving suffering in its wake.
So the answer to the question is that people seek counseling because of some form of suffering. But we’ve learned that suffering is the result of sin. So, counseling that is biblical addresses the suffering of the counselee in the context of that suffering resulting from sin. Oh, but this causes us to pause and ask a clarifying question. Is all suffering for which people seek counseling because people are sinners? For sure there is a form of suffering that occurs because we are sinners. However, not all suffering results from personal sin. Jesus suffered but was not a sinner. His suffering did not involve sinful participation in it (Hebrews 4:15; 1 Peter 2:21-24; 3:18). His suffering resulted from the sin of others against Him and the sin He bore on Himself because of the sins of others for which He was paying. We, however, suffer for many reasons. We suffer because of others’ sin against us (which is a sharing in the sufferings of Christ if handled in the manner in which He did--1 Peter 4:12-16). But in our suffering, we are prone to respond in ways that makes our suffering worse. Additionally, when we sin against others, we bring about various forms of suffering to ourselves and others. Ultimately, our own sin, being against God in every form, is our greatest form and source of suffering. All of this results in a life dynamic that brings discomfort, unrest, anger, broken relationships, and a host of other maladies of suffering. These experiences can lead us to seek outside help for a biblical counselor. While our Lord’s suffering was intense, unearned, and chosen, it did not diminish His joy, because His suffering did not prevent Him from enjoying God (Hebreww 12:2). He is the one we look to in order to see suffering in the proper way and emulate Him in our responses to it. It is by His power in defeating sin that we are able to face the fiery trials of suffering. Therefore, the ultimate aim of counseling (and all spiritual growth) is toward knowing and enjoying God for His glory. Suffering is one area in which the struggle to be conformed to Christ in this way is most intense, and yet has the greatest potential.
Having said all this, it is important that we acknowledge that all suffering is the result of the fall. However, this needs great qualification. No one suffers passively. We are actively participating in our own suffering. While things do happen to us that are beyond our control—things that are hardships, affliction, and persecution—the condition of our hearts and our responses to these do significantly influence our suffering. Though it is a necessary consequence of a fallen world, God’s ultimate purpose for suffering is for His glory and the refinement of His people (toward His intention for them as made in His image). The intention of God’s redemptive program is to glorify His name. Counseling, then, if it is to be biblical, must always be mindful of the ultimate purpose in all things. Suffering will continue until God fully redeems everything, which He will gloriously one day do (Romans 8:18-21). Till then, the intention of our lives (and for counseling) is to reduce suffering as a by-product of sinfully pursued ways of promoting self, while promoting a pursuit of God in all things for our sufficient joy. Biblical counseling does not ignore suffering, nor assign personal sin as the culprit. Rather, it lovingly addresses the suffering of the individual with a full scope of the effects of the fall in its contaminating effects on the person and his or her experience of pain. It extends grace and hope in the gospel, which makes us new creations and gives us eyes to see the glory of Christ in the midst of suffering.
People seek counseling because they want some form of perceived suffering to change. Wise are they who see the need to address their participation in their own suffering and who set their goals toward suffering well, while becoming more like Christ because of it. Sin is always the problem, but the goal is always to know God more deeply, enjoy and trust Him more fully, and accept the sufferings of the present time as temporary. Glory, compounded and growing, awaits those who suffer well (2 Corinthians 4:17-18). The wise and obedient biblical counselor makes these his or her goals, while lovingly attending to the concerns of the counselee’s present suffering.